100:: You're not failing! A pregnancy & postpartum mental health deep dive with Dr. Abigail Powell
Dr. Kelsy Vick interviews Dr. Abigail about pregnancy and postpartum mental health. They discuss common struggles like first-trimester fatigue while trying to function normally, body comments, and the sudden shift from “not pregnant” to pregnant—often kept secret early on—which fuels comparison and self-doubt. Dr. Abigail explains how she helps moms challenge comparison by questioning its purpose and identifying needs for external versus internal validation, emphasizing motherhood as delayed gratification. They cover parenting and mom guilt, reframing kids’ mistakes as not reflecting a parent’s worth, and the need to parent each child differently. Postpartum, they stress flexible planning and adjusting expectations. Dr. Abigail describes brain changes in early motherhood (“mom brain”) as adaptive, and shares calming tools like paced breathing, the “parental pause,” co-regulation, and postpartum nutrition basics (broth-based foods, balanced meals, protein-first, and snacks for breastfeeding).
Links/Research Articles:
Dr. Abigail’s Website: https://www.villagepsychllc.com/ , https://theaviationtherapist.com
Dr. Abigail’s Booking Link: https://book.carepatron.com/Village-Psychology/Dr--Abigail?p=gZVWZTPfSt6PI3UhjLIQjg&s=r8XMQN4z
Dr. Abigail’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/villagepsychllc , https://www.instagram.com/theaviationtherapist
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Transcript
Welcome to Wellness Fix the pod, a
bi maven media production where we
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:believe you deserve real education
from real experts delivered
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:in a way you can actually use.
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:I'm Dr.
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:Kelsey Vick, your board certified
orthopedic doctor of physical therapy, and
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:this podcast was built for the girl who
is done feeling overwhelmed and frustrated
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:by conflicting health noise and is ready
for something she can actually trust.
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:Every week we have honest
science-backed conversations
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:about your health, your hormones.
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:Your brain, your body and
everything in between.
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:No fluff, no fear mongering, just
the truth because understanding
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:your body is the most powerful
thing you can do for yourself.
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:A table full of experts built for
the curious girl who wants the truth.
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:So welcome.
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:Your seat is waiting for you.
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:So a lot of it is that expectation
to still be able to do everything,
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:the constant comments about bodies.
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:And it's like everybody suddenly
has the ability to say, oh, it
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:looks like you finally popped,
or, wow, you look so much bigger.
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:It's just the sudden switch because
it's like, it's not that you weren't
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:pregnant before you took a test, but
it's like in your mind you, you weren't
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:pregnant and now you are, and now you're
expected to move on with life as if.
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:As if nothing happened, as if you
didn't just make this entire discovery.
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:It's that constant loop of comparison that
can honestly destroy a mother's mindset
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:of who they are, how they're supposed
to be, how they believe they should be.
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:What is the, what is the
purpose of this comparing?
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:Is it to show that you're a good mom?
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:Are you looking for some
external validation right there?
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:Because then it's saying,
okay, well I'm not having that
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:internal validation that I need.
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:I always say that motherhood is like the
biggest form of delayed gratification.
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:You are really not gonna feel like
you know that you did a good job
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:until they are well out of the house.
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:I.
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:Kelsy: let's chat.
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:Pregnancy and mental health.
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:What are some of the most common
things that you see women struggle
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:with during pregnancy when it
comes to their mental health?
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:So a lot of it is that expectation
to still be able to do everything.
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:So.
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:A huge part is like first trimester,
you're feeling really fatigue and then
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:you are not really realizing that you
are, you know, like forming your baby's
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:organs during that time and that it's
like one of the most important trimesters.
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:All of them are important, but like this.
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:This is when all the really
vital things start happening.
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:And so a lot of moms are
like, why am I one so sick?
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:But also, why am I so tired?
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:And yet, because a lot of people don't
know that I'm pregnant, I, I now have
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:to start acting like everything is fine
when I'm falling asleep at my desk or
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:when I am just on the struggle bus.
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:And a whole other thing is like,
for me, especially, I carry quite
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:small up until the end, and so.
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:The constant comments about bodies,
and it's like everybody suddenly
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:has the ability to say, oh, it
looks like you finally popped,
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:or, wow, you look so much bigger.
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:When in reality we've spent our
entire life thinking, okay, well am I
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:supposed to have like a small waste?
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:Am I supposed to, you know, be
what society thinks I should
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:be when it comes to size?
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:Or should I be at the same
level of fitness that I was?
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:And then knowing that you're
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:Like, wait, I am not all belly.
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:I, I am actually gaining like
blood volume and extra fluids.
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:And so a lot of the time you're
saying, wait a minute, this is not
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:how I was told it was going to be.
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:And it can really mess with your mind.
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:It can really start
making you doubt yourself.
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:And it's like that's kind of the
beginning of, okay, am I cut out for this?
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:Am I able to stay at
the same fitness level?
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:Kelsy: I think expectations are huge.
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:And I'm
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yeah.
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:Kelsy: the drastic nature of
going from, not pregnant to
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:pregnant, like that's a huge jump.
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:And like you
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yeah.
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:Kelsy: a lot of the times in
the first trimester, you're
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:maybe keeping some of that.
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:To yourself a little bit, and
you're choosing to share with a
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:select, supportive group of people.
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:But it's this like drastic jump from you
maybe don't look as pregnant as you feel,
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:and you're going from you previously
used to function like physically without.
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:Having a growing or growing
human inside of you.
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:So it's this like delta between
the two that I feel can be
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:probably very challenging to
deal with mentally for women.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:100%.
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:Yeah, I think that it, it's just the
sudden switch because it's like, it's not
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:that you weren't pregnant before you took
a test, but it's like in your mind you,
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:you weren't pregnant and now you are.
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:And now you're expected to move
on with life as if as if nothing
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:happened, as if you didn't just
make this entire discovery.
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:And as if you weren't, you weren't feeling
like a completely new person because
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:you're like, okay, hold on a minute.
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:What's happening to my body?
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:What's going on right now?
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:But it's just me and my husband
and maybe a couple close friends,
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:maybe like a parent, family
members, something like that.
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:But you're like, wait,
this is now a huge secret.
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:And so it's almost like when there's
a secret, it's this big deal and
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:you, you are like, I'm gonna act
like nothing's wrong, and suddenly
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:it's like everything's wrong.
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:Some just,
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:Kelsy: And you're
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:yeah.
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:Kelsy: against it too.
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:'cause you're like, okay, I have to act
like nothing's wrong, but like literally
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:my entire body is changing and my
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yeah.
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:Kelsy: is changing.
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:Like I have to act like
nothing's wrong, but
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Kelsy: struggling to get to
work when I used to be able
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:to, run marathons or whatever.
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:So there's this drastic shift in
our capacity to, even though you're
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:also trying to fight against that
need to present normally because
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:you're still maybe trying to keep
things a little bit of a secret.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Right, 100%.
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:And also it's like you are starting to
then ask people about their experiences
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:and it's not adding up to your experience
and you're going, okay, hold on a minute.
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:What's wrong with me then?
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:If I'm not as sick, then that,
does that mean that I'm not doing
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:a good job growing this baby?
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:Or if I'm not feeling as great
as this other person, am I not
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:doing pregnancy as well as them?
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:It's that constant loop of comparison that
can honestly destroy a mother's mindset
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:of who they are, how they're supposed
to be, how they believe they should be.
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:It's like those should comments that
that can completely like drive them.
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:Drive their joy down and make them
really not enjoy that motherhood
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:and really increase that mom guilt.
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:Kelsy: And I do think.
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:you said, pregnancy is maybe the first
of that, but from what I've heard and
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:what I've experienced with loved ones
close to me, it doesn't necessarily go
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:away unless you have the right tools
to help fight against that comparison.
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:Because parenting techniques,
schooling techniques, like
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:you're constantly going to be.
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:Comparing your experience to
someone else's and trying to figure
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:out, and is what I'm doing okay?
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:Is what I'm doing right?
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:Like second guessing yourself.
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:And I feel like you probably work
really closely with a lot of moms
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:who struggle with this, not only in
pregnancy, but the throughout motherhood.
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:How do you help people with
specifically that comparison piece,
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:not only during pregnancy, but also
just postpartum and as they start
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:to actually have to raise a human?
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Well, a lot of the time it's,
it's just kind of ask, asking some
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:challenging questions as well, so I'm
not somebody who is just going to say,
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:okay, yeah, that's really difficult,
and then just move on from it.
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:Yes, we wanna validate because
I mean, motherhood is difficult.
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:Yes, 100%.
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:But it's also somebody going,
okay, but why is their baby
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:sleeping through the night?
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:How do you know that their baby's
sleeping through the night?
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:Well, they told me, okay, but they
slept through the night last night.
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:How do you know that they slept
through the night, the night before?
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:Well, I don't know that I, are y'all
sharing each other's like sleep logs
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:if we aren't keeping sleep logs?
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:Why?
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:What's, what's the purpose of this?
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:Is this to track how
good of a mother you are?
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:Oh their child is eating
more foods than mine is.
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:Okay, but why does that matter?
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:Does.
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:Does they, do they have more teeth?
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:Does that child roll over as
the same day that your sit?
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:Well, I don't know that exactly, exactly.
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:What is the, what is the
purpose of this comparing?
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:Is it to show that you're a good mom?
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:Are you looking for some
external validation Right there?
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:Because then it's saying, okay,
well I'm not having that internal
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:validation that I need, and so kind
of asking those challenging questions
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:and saying, what do I need from this?
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:And what purpose is this serving me and
is it actually helping me in this case?
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:Kelsy: getting to that
deeper root, it might.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Kelsy: my understanding of what
you're saying, it might present
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:as comparison, but it really is
like wanting that validation as
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:a new mom probably and wanting
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Right.
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:Kelsy: I'm doing a good job sort of thing.
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:And
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Kelsy: I heard it once from
one of my really dear friends.
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:She's very type a high achiever,
she's also a physical therapist,
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:so just very next step.
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:Next step.
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:Level up.
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:And she said with motherhood, it
was the first time that she did not
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:get the validation that she needed
from this human that she, worked so
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:hard and sacrificed so much for, and
he wasn't even smiling at her yet.
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:And I never thought about it from
that perspective as like she,
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:right.
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:Kelsy: validation from her good
grades, from, her hard work
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Kelsy: She saw the
results of, and this was.
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:One of those situations where she
struggled with that validation from her
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:son, because it was like it's hard to get
that from a baby with even just a smile
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:when they don't have that skill yet.
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:And I thought it was eyeopening
for me as someone who's not a mom
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:and who, who hasn't experienced
that to understand that.
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:Sometimes you might need that
validation and comparison might be
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:the way that's presenting to get
that validation from other people,
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:but or from yourself, like you said
to check that skill for your child.
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:But I think that's a very good
point, and I've seen it present
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:in a lot of different ways.
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:I.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yeah, I think that a lot of the
time, I mean, I always say that
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:parenthood, especially just motherhood
in general, is like the biggest
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:form of delayed gratification.
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:You are really not gonna feel like
you know that you did a good job
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:until they are well out of the house.
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:They possibly have their own families.
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:And then I'm almost thinking
that when you become a mother.
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:You are almost re-parenting yourself while
you're parenting your own kids because
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:you're kind of realizing what, like maybe
what your parents did for you that worked
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:for you is not working with this child.
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:Especially for me, like I have two little
boys and I was the eldest daughter.
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:I mean, I was first born, so
it was definitely different
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:scenario in my family.
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:And so sitting through a meal maybe wasn't
as difficult for me, but for my kids.
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:Oh my gosh.
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:It is the hardest thing for them.
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:I mean, it is equivalent to torture, to
sit down for two minutes and eat their
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:food without having some sort of race.
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:And so for me, I was going, oh my
gosh, I was able to sit through
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:this meal at four years old.
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:Why can't they, I, I'm
not understanding it.
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:And then realizing, okay, well.
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:They have so much more going on.
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:Not just because they're boys, but
also because like, they're not just
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:me, but they're also part my husband.
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:And so I jokingly, I'll jokingly look
at him and be like, that's your fault.
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:That's you.
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:'cause it completely was him and that
that's exactly how he was as a child.
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:And then I kind of see the beauty
in it because I love who my
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:husband is and how he turned out.
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:And so if he turned out this
way as a man in his thirties.
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:And he was like this at four.
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:Okay, great.
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:He somehow found out how to utilize it,
and so I'm gonna parent the way that my
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:kids need to be parented and not the way
that other people parented their kids.
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:Kelsy: I feel like all of these
phrases that you're using and
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:just different things, different
reframing of your own mindset, like
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yeah.
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:Kelsy: see that you've also had to work
through this, and it's really healthy
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:for me to see all of the, different
steps that you take to get to your
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:ultimate, the most healthy way to reframe
the current situation that you're in,
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:because you also probably have had to
do some work to understand okay, if my
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:kid is maybe not behaving as well in a
restaurant as someone else's kid, that's
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:not necessarily a reflection on me.
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:It's not coming back to
my worth and my identity.
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:There are these individual differences
that exist in these children and it's not
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yes,
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:Kelsy: to my own worth.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:100%.
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:And I don't parent the same way.
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:Like each kid, it's having three,
especially having both genders and
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:having completely different ages,
each kid is gonna need something else.
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:And I really don't feel like I actually
got to the point of knowing that the mom
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:guilt, like the mom still, it still comes,
the mom guilt is still there sometimes
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:because I'm definitely not perfect.
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:But I realized that I kind of conquered.
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:That ultimate mountain of
shaming myself when my 2-year-old
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:was jumping on the couch.
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:I took him off multiple times.
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:We talked about it multiple
times, and then he bunks his
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:head and it created an ER visit.
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:And immediately when I told one of my
friends about it, she goes, I hope that
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:you know you did everything you could.
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:And I go, no, I know.
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:I don't think I'm a bad mom
because my child made a mistake.
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:And in that moment.
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:I almost kind of felt this weight fall
off my shoulders because I, I was not
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:going to the ER thinking I messed up.
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:I did this, this must have been me.
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:This wasn't a reflection on me.
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:I did everything in my power to do
that other than basically baby wearing
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:my 2-year-old, which I couldn't do.
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:I was baby wearing my seven month old,
so I was too busy, baby wearing, but.
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:Kelsy: The bubble.
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:The bubble can only go so far.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Right.
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:Like he cannot piggyback on me even
though he wants to at all times.
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:And so kind of having that moment
of realization of, okay, this isn't
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:me, these kids, yes, I grew them.
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:Yes, I see myself in
them, but they are not me.
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:They are their own people with autonomy.
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:It almost kind of like the world opens up
for you and you're starting to go, okay,
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:it's, it's not because I'm a bad mom.
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:Yeah.
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:And so I think that that also
kind of goes into parenting
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:of I parent my kids that way.
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:If they make a mistake, that does
not mean that they're a bad kid.
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:So if we are talking to our kids the
same way that we talk to ourselves,
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:we're gonna see that they are also
going to turn out the same way as us.
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:More regulated.
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:Kelsy: I think that's when you know
you've made it, you know when you
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:have that light switch moment of
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:it was like,
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:Kelsy: my
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:yeah.
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:Kelsy: go to this shaming myself.
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:I understand that it's okay.
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:I did all that I could and
things happen, so I feel
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Exactly.
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:Kelsy: a, an I made it moment as far as,
your own mental state regarding certain
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Kelsy: just out of your control.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Right.
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:Exactly.
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:Yeah.
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:And I mean it was, that was
like a core memory moment,
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:but it took so much training.
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:To say, okay, this isn't you.
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:This doesn't mean that
you're a bad parent.
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:This just means that the kids,
they're now finding their
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:own autonomy and that's okay.
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:Kelsy: So switching to postpartum a
little bit, are there certain things
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:that you see in your practice with
your clients that women struggle with?
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:Differently or maybe in a different way
than what they did during pregnancy or do
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:some of those challenges they experience.
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:Are they completely different than
the challenges during pregnancy?
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:I think that a lot of women especially
have these plans of how they want
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:their postpartum to be, and then they
go, wait, I did not prep for this.
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:And so, I mean, I have an entire program
where I am kind of studying that, that
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:mentality for postpartum and almost
helping them kind of create a game plan
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:that's realistic because a lot of the
time they'll say, okay, dad's gonna
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:take the first half of the night, and
then I'm gonna take the second half of
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:the night, and I'm going, okay, great.
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:However.
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:You may not know how you're feeling
postpartum, and you, with you being so
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:inflexible about this, knowing that you
want to have like these specific shifts.
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:Okay, what if dad is sick?
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:What if dad has to go back
to work earlier than you do?
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:Then, like, how are we
going to handle this?
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:And they're going, well,
I didn't prep for that.
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:Okay, well, what if labor
was more difficult than you
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:thought it was going to be?
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:How are we going to handle that?
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:And then they'll go, I
didn't think about that.
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:But instead, what we're trying to do is.
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:We're trying to almost prep in a way of
saying, I'm gonna be flexible with this.
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:We're gonna write down what we think that
we want, and then postpartum, we're gonna
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:allow ourselves to change our minds.
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:We're we're gonna say, okay, I know
that it's okay if I, like, if I decide
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:that I I'm not gonna pump at night.
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:I'm just going to nurse
something like that.
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:I'm gonna be okay with that, or it's
okay if we have decided to co-sleep,
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:even though we said that we were not
going to, that was me with my first kid.
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:I was like, no, co-sleeping.
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:I, I wouldn't know how to do it.
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:I, I didn't know.
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:I didn't know how to safely do it,
and so therefore it couldn't happen.
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:Instead of, oh, I can learn, I can switch.
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:Because a lot of the time, I mean, even
as somebody who was childless, I was
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:going, my kids would never do that.
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:My kids would never act
that way in a restaurant.
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:My kids would never yell no at me.
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:And then I was thinking, okay,
things need to shift, mindset needs
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:to shift on that I can do better.
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:And understanding that, oh, okay, I, I
maybe had different expectations here.
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:And so it's like a huge part is
that really expectation shift and
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:being flexible with that and knowing
that you didn't just mess up.
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:It's okay.
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:Kelsy: And knowing too, I feel
like especially going from zero
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:to one, you don't know yourself.
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:As someone who's pregnant with or
with a child like you are setting
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:these expectations probably during
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Yeah.
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:Kelsy: when you don't have a little
one and all that goes into that, and
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:you don't have this hindsight of how
your postpartum experience is gonna go.
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:Maybe your birthing your delivery method
was a little bit different than what you
398
:thought and what your expectations were.
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:Like all of these shifts that
might happen once, baby is
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:actually earth side and being.
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:Flexible to shift your own expectations,
towards that, but also understanding
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:like you didn't know what you didn't
know, and it's okay to be able to
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:have that flexibility in that mindset.
404
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
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:Right, and I didn't know anything.
406
:I didn't prep at all my first time around
because I was like, we're gonna have a
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:baby and we're gonna walk out of there.
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:And now I have my poor sister who
is not even close to having children
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:who, it's not even in her horizon and
she's going, oh, there is no way that
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:I'm going to allow visitors after the
furs, two weeks or something like that.
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:She goes, I am now seeing you do it
three times and I know what I need now.
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:And she's like, I need you in the room
because I know that I could just look
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:at you and say everything that I need
to say, and so I'm gonna make sure that
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:you're going to like, it's the big sis.
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:It's like you're gonna be that
big sister and you're gonna let me
416
:have the birth that I need so I can
have the postpartum that I want.
417
:Kelsy: Are there certain, I'm thinking.
418
:Of expectations, and especially
friends of mine who have had certain
419
:expectations before pregnancy
that have shifted after pregnancy.
420
:And I'm thinking of one example,
primarily career related where I
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:would've said she's very, high achieving,
would've definitely been a working mom.
422
:And then she shifted.
423
:Postpartum and realize I
just want to stay at home.
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:I love being a stay at home mom.
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:I don't see any other
426
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
427
:Yeah.
428
:Kelsy: Are there actual sort of brain
changes that happen during pregnancy
429
:and postpartum that might, lead
towards us needing to be a little
430
:bit more flexible with some of the
expectations that we thought we had
431
:during pregnancy or that trimester zero.
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:Dr. Abigail Powell:
433
:Yeah, so there's actually been studies
that have come out that have shown
434
:that mom's brain has changed throughout
pregnancy in the first two years.
435
:Postpartum meaning like mom is losing gray
matter, especially in her frontal lobe.
436
:Her limbic system.
437
:So that has our hippocampus,
so memories and connects to our
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:amygdala, so that fight or flight.
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:And there are temporal lobes
which are important for like
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:processing what we hear.
441
:And so I wanna really focus on
that, not because it's like the
442
:biggest shift, but because it's
really what you can kind of see.
443
:So throughout the first two years,
that's when, baby's becoming more verbal.
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:And there's always kind of a
running joke once you have kids.
445
:I didn't know it before kids, but
maybe you know it where it's like a
446
:mom understands what the baby's saying.
447
:So like baby is babbling,
saying, you know, whatever.
448
:And everyone else is gonna
look and they're like, I have
449
:no idea what he just said.
450
:And I will, like this morning,
right before this, my 2-year-old
451
:was like, I wanna go for a barrah.
452
:And my mom looks at me and she goes,
Abby, I I need you to speak his language.
453
:I was like, he wants a bike ride, mom.
454
:Why didn't, why couldn't you hear that?
455
:And she was like, I, I didn't know.
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:And it's because those two
years after having him, my
457
:brain is able to know what cry.
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:Is dangerous.
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:And what cry is just him wanting to
get attention because he totally has
460
:that cry where he will, he will cry
and then he'll stop and he'll look
461
:at me and he's like, is she looking?
462
:And then, and then he'll continue
crying as I'm kind of watching him and
463
:I'm like, I know what you're doing.
464
:But then he has his own language because
they're learning how to form words
465
:and my brain is forming to help that.
466
:So the more children we have, the more
different our brain is going to look.
467
:And so with three, I have no
idea what my brain looks like.
468
:However, I do know that I
need a calendar a lot more.
469
:I cannot think of the
grocery list in my head.
470
:Instead, my husband and I have
to keep like a mutual calendar
471
:of when we go grocery shopping,
when our Walmart pickup order is.
472
:What exactly we need to do in
the phone calls we need to make,
473
:everything needs to be scheduled.
474
:Why?
475
:Because I'm totally going to forget
about it because I'm so busy thinking
476
:about what my child needs and.
477
:I would not have it any other way.
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:Yes, I may forget about like filling
out a form until the last minute.
479
:Professionally.
480
:However, I know that I'm never going
to forget the symptoms that my child
481
:has when they're sick or like the
moment that they showed those symptoms.
482
:And I think that is so
much more important.
483
:Kelsy: It's an adaptability.
484
:That's super
485
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
486
:100%.
487
:Kelsy: to know because yeah, it's you
hear mom brain or whatever, and it's
488
:this thrown around term and I'm like.
489
:This is a sort of positive
reframing of mom brain because
490
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
491
:Yeah.
492
:Kelsy: heard of our brains after
actually shifting to allow for us
493
:to be able to better communicate
for and with our, growing child.
494
:So that is so cool.
495
:I.
496
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
497
:Yeah, so I mean, I think it's
kind of a superpower personally.
498
:I know for me.
499
:I've had to learn how to like,
regulate myself to understand that my
500
:children are not gonna be regulated.
501
:So
502
:If somebody's crying and
hyperventilating, it's not gonna work.
503
:If I just look in their face and I go,
stop crying, that doesn't work for me.
504
:Why?
505
:Why would it work for my poor toddler
who has no frontal lobe, basically?
506
:And so knowing that I need to regulate
that we can co-regulate together.
507
:And that I am the example for it.
508
:It has made a world of difference.
509
:And I've noticed that my moms, especially
that I see, they'll email me and
510
:they'll be like, Abby, oh my gosh.
511
:I thought that you, I thought that
you were crazy for doing a breathing
512
:technique in front of the child.
513
:However, it worked and I noticed
that my, my baby is suddenly so
514
:much calmer because I am calmer.
515
:Kelsy: I have to know
the breathing technique.
516
:mind sharing what is
this breathing technique?
517
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
518
:So eight's different because everything
that I do with every single mom,
519
:it's gonna be tailored towards them.
520
:But a lot of the time what I do is I
kind of go in for four out for six.
521
:So we'll do like breathing in for
four, then we'll hold for four,
522
:and then we'll go out for six.
523
:Sometimes it's out for
eight, depending on.
524
:Mom's athletic ability.
525
:So if mom's a runner, she could
probably breathe in longer and then
526
:breathe out longer, but it's activating
that parasympathetic nervous system.
527
:So it's activating the calm
and the way that the body is
528
:saying, Hey, you are in control.
529
:A whole other thing is I, I
call it the parental pause.
530
:So stopping for a moment, assessing
the situation, because typically, like
531
:I said, we know our babies cry, so.
532
:If we do not hear a dangerous cry,
however, we heard a loud noise,
533
:typically a loud noise plus crying.
534
:It usually a loud noise plus silence.
535
:I'd be more worried, again,
two boys, but that's just me.
536
:But a loud noise plus some crying, I'm
gonna walk instead of just absolutely
537
:sprint because then my sympathetic nervous
system is ramped up and I'm going to
538
:know that I'm reacting versus responding.
539
:So.
540
:I, I show up, I assess the situation.
541
:I say, okay, hey, what happened bud?
542
:And then typically they see a calm figure
instead of, oh my gosh, what happened?
543
:When they see the, oh
my gosh, what happened?
544
:They're less likely to run to you
and look for co-regulation when you
545
:say, Hey, bud, noticed what happened?
546
:I noticed that something broke.
547
:Come over here.
548
:We're gonna calm down because I
know I don't know about you, but I
549
:cannot take any sort of feedback.
550
:If I'm in fight or flight,
neither can our child.
551
:And so even when we have a baby, even when
we're in postpartum, if we start hearing
552
:a cry, maybe it's not even the cry where
it's saying, Hey, there's an emergency.
553
:But if mom is really worked up versus
when she comes, maybe 10 seconds later
554
:regulated after doing that breathing
technique really quick, you notice
555
:that baby's able to calm much faster
and you're, and you notice that mom.
556
:Is staying more regulated as well.
557
:It's truly amazing.
558
:Kelsy: Which is amazing.
559
:I know you're also big
with food as medicine.
560
:Are
561
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
562
:Mm-hmm.
563
:Kelsy: sort of fueling or nutrition
strategies that we should think about
564
:to promote that calm in our brains?
565
:Dr. Abigail Powell:
566
:So big thing is when mom is newly
postpartum, I try broth based so.
567
:Warm broth based just because
it is, it's promoting healing.
568
:And so big on that along with
making sure that we're always
569
:choosing a protein first.
570
:So making sure that we have that
long-term stable energy as well as a
571
:fat and a carb because we really need
to make sure that our glucose is steady.
572
:So, I mean, you know, where we have
the carbohydrate that's gonna spike
573
:our blood sugar, and then the fat
and the protein's gonna carry it on.
574
:So really making sure that, you
know, we are having well-balanced
575
:meals every single time.
576
:I have a breastfeeding mom.
577
:I say just take a small snack with you,
like handful of mixed nuts when you're
578
:eating or when you're breastfeeding,
and that's gonna help as well
579
:because you are burning so many Cal.
580
:Kelsy: Dr.
581
:Abigail, thank you.
582
:So much for coming on and sharing
your knowledge, your expertise, your
583
:passion, and especially some practical
examples for how you've helped your own
584
:clients and patients in your practice.
585
:I think that's wonderful.
586
:If you guys are wanting someone like Dr.
587
:Abigail on your team, I will leave
her link to book with her below.
588
:She takes virtual clients in
Texas, if you're in Texas.
589
:If not, I will also
leave her socials below.
590
:That way you can follow her content
and education and information that
591
:she puts out for all moms and also.
592
:Stages and I find so much value in it
as someone who is in trimester zero just
593
:thinking about pregnancy and postpartum.
594
:So I know you guys will too.
595
:I hope you guys learned so much from Dr.
596
:Abigail.
597
:You enjoyed this episode and I
will see you guys again on the next
598
:episode of Wellness B exists the pod
