80:: The female brain on consistency & goal-setting (why we are more consistent & motivated towards some goals than others!)
What makes some goals easy to stay consistent with—while others feel like a constant uphill battle? In this episode, I reflect on why movement has been one of the most consistent parts of my life, and how understanding the neuroscience behind goal setting and emotional significance can change how we approach our habits.
I share a personal story about my grandmother’s stroke and how it shaped the way I view movement as a sacred gift. From there, we explore how the brain’s alarm system, specifically in the anterior cingulate cortex, evaluates the emotional and motivational weight of our goals—and how that determines the strength of our discipline and follow-through.
We break down why some goals pull us forward effortlessly, while others require more external motivation or structure, and how to intentionally increase the emotional significance of your goals to improve consistency.
We also connect this to last week’s conversation on motivation versus discipline, discussing:
- How emotional significance impacts goal pursuit
- Why movement became my anchor habit
- The brain’s alarm system and how it influences discipline
- High stakes vs. low stakes goals and how to use them to your advantage
- How to apply this framework to build new habits or reinforce old ones
If you’ve ever wondered why some habits stick and others don’t, this episode offers both science-based insight and personal reflection to help you reset, refocus, and reframe how you approach your goals.
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00:18- 01:12 Introduction and Recap
01:13- 02:13 The Importance of Consistency
02:14- 04:01 Emotional Connection to Goals
04:02- 06:46 Personal Story: Movement as a Gift
06:47- 10:06 Neuroscience of Goal Setting
10:07- 12:37 Applying Neuroscience to Personal Goals (Part 1)
13:14- 18:09 Applying Neuroscience to Personal Goals (Part 2)
18:10- 19:55 Conclusion and Reflections
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
Last week we chatted about how our
hormones and menstrual cycle affect
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:our motivation and discipline.
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:So let's take it a step further and
chat about goal setting as women today.
4
:Welcome back to Wellness Big Sis, the pod.
5
:I'm your host, Dr.
6
:Kelsy Vick, a board
certified orthopedic Dr.
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:Physical therapy, and a pelvic
floor physical therapist.
8
:, And last week's episode is probably
one of my favorite topics to research,
9
:we chatted all about motivation and
discipline and why you might feel more
10
:motivated or more disciplined during
certain times of your cycle and what
11
:to know about how your brain works.
12
:To give yourself a little bit of grace,
but then also to maximize when you do
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:feel more motivated or more disciplined.
14
:It's one of my favorite
topics to research and.
15
:I hope you guys enjoyed
that chat as much as I did.
16
:If you missed it, it is the episode right
before this, but we'll build upon that
17
:today And talk specifically goal setting
and really just staying consistent.
18
:It's not even necessarily like
how to be better goal setters,
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:but how to stay consistent when
trying to achieve a certain goal.
20
:So as I was reflecting over this week's
episode, I kept coming back to what have
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:I been consistent with over the course of.
22
:Decades or my life really.
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:And the one thing that is super
easy for me to be consistent with
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:is exercise and movement in general.
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:And this is not to brag at all, it's just
something that I feel like I've been able
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:to stay way more consistent with because
I have an emotional connection to the
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:long-term goal that I have when it comes
to movement, diet, sleep, hydration, all
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:of those things are things I struggle with
mindfulness meditation, like I am not.
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:Perfect by any means, but for
some reason movement is easy
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:for me to stay consistent with.
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:And I kept wondering, why is that?
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:Why am I so consistent with movement
yet have such a hard time making
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:sure to get my mindfulness practices
and my breath work practices?
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:Really, I Anything else
that's not movement.
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:I'm so consistent with movement,
but why can I be so consistent with
36
:movement and not with everything else?
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:And as I was thinking about it, it
got me coming back to my deeper why
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:with movement and how emotionally
connected I am with that deeper why
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:My deeper why gets a little bit
spiritual, but to me, movement
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:is so much more than exercise.
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:And being consistent with movement
is so much more than exercise.
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:Because movement's how we interact
with the world, it's how we
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:do the things that we enjoy.
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:It's how we show people we love them.
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:It's how we build relationships.
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:It's how we interact with others.
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:It's just how we communicate
with the world around us.
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:And so for me, it gets so much
deeper than just weight loss or.
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:Honestly even feeling good in my body,
although that's part of it, it gets a
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:lot deeper than that, and that movement
to me is one of the ways that I interact
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:with the world, that I show people
that I love them, and I've seen what
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:it looks like when that is taken away.
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:So we're gonna dive into this
example of movement, using my
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:example, but I also want you guys
to think about what is something
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:that you're super consistent with?
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:Think about it really quickly.
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:Like it can be anything.
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:It can be something, not health and
wellness related, but what is one
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:thing you're super consistent with?
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:We're gonna dive into the neuroscience
behind goal setting and consistency,
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:But I want you to see if how I explain
goal setting and neuroscience and
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:all of these things also apply to
you in whatever task or behavior that
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:you're able to be consistent with.
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:So it can be something as simple
as, you're really good at fueling,
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:you're really good at journaling.
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:You're really consistent with
calling your mom every day.
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:You're really consistent
in learning something.
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:Whatever it is, think about what you are
consistent at and see if some of these
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:facts about how our brains work to build
consistency and build goal setting, apply
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:to whatever you are consistent with.
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:So for me, movement is that thing that is
super easy for me to be consistent with.
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:And one of the reasons is that I have
seen what it's like to live without
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:movement from a very young age.
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:I witnessed my grandmother having
a stroke when I was five, and
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:I saw from such a early age
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:how a lack of movement affects someone.
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:So for me, I was seeing my very healthy,
very capable grandma go from fully
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:functioning horse riding tennis plane to
all of a sudden being wheelchair bound.
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:It was a very severe stroke.
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:She's paralyzed completely
on her right side.
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:So I saw firsthand what it looked
like for someone super close
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:to me, someone that I loved for
movement to be taken away from them.
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:And not that when I was five years old,
I was thinking that, oh my gosh, that is.
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:Movement is.
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:Spiritual movement is something that
I'm going to build this lifelong
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:consistency with because I see what
it's like when it's taken away.
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:It was not that at all, but I think
that experience is ingrained a little
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:bit deeper than what I think it is.
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:It's one of the reasons I went to
PT school actually, seeing how much.
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:Movement specialists and movement
experts were able to help her and help
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:her regain some of her movement back.
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:But realizing what it looks like to
have movement taken away is really
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:what I think got ingrained in my
head to be like, you know what?
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:Even if it's hard to exercise
today, remember what it looks
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:like to not have movement.
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:Remember what it looks like to
not have the blessing of movement.
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:And that's really what has
solidified that consistency for me.
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:So that experience showed
me that movement was a gift.
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:It's a blessing going to the bathroom
on your own, getting in and outta
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:the car, going to get yourself
food, going to get yourself water.
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:Anything that you want requires movement
to go get, so the older that I got,
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:the more I started realizing what a
blessing and what a gift movement is.
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:So not only is it how you exercise or
how you make your body healthy or feel
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:more confident, but it's also how you
interact with the world, how you live,
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:how you enjoy the people in your life,
how you love the people in your life, how
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:you love the things that you do in life.
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:Movement is a huge part of that.
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:Now, as a pt, I've had even more
examples of what it looks like
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:to have that movement taken away.
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:And I've seen how having that taken away
affects their ability to show up for
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:themselves and show up for others, how
it keeps them from doing the things that
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:they love with the people they love.
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:Now, why am I telling you all of this
a super personal story and one of
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:the things that could probably bring
me to tears because it's been such
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:a monumental change in my life that
really affected me from a young age.
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:Why am I telling you all of this?
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:It's not just because I want you
guys to be like, wow, Kelsey came
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:out the other side and really has
built this consistency with movement.
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:That's not what it is at all.
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:It's more to prove one of the concepts
of goal setting that really helps
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:to solidify a goal and consistency
towards that goal within our brains.
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:So picturing our lives without
that goal or failure of that
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:goal really helps us to promote
consistency in pursuit of that goal.
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:The stronger that pull is to live
with that goal, the more consistent
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:you'll be with accomplishing that goal.
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:So taking it back to last week when we.
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:Learned that we have an alarm system
within our brains that when it senses
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:a disconnect between our long-term
goals and what we currently wanna do.
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:So it may be short-term pleasure.
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:So let's say exercise long-term goals.
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:You wanna exercise, you wanna be
someone who exercises, you wanna be
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:someone who's able to move in the best
way they can for the longest they can.
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:But right now you really wanna
just sit on the couch and veg
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:and watch your favorite show.
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:That alarm system will sound, letting
your brain know that, hey, currently
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:she wants to do something that is not
in alignment with her long-term goals.
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:Can you use discipline to override?
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:Can you use that CEO, that command
center, the prefrontal cortex, to
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:override what she really wants to
do to remind her that she does have
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:these longer term goals, that what she
wants to do short term is not going to
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:help her reach those long-term goals.
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:So for me, with movement, there is a
greater pull, there's a greater disconnect
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:because for me, movement is not just
short term goals of weight loss, but
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:it's this longer term goal, this longer
term value, this identity of who I am.
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:I am a mover.
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:I am someone who values movement
for my whole lifespan, for not only
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:myself, but also my family and those
that I love to be able to interact
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:with them in the way that I want to
be able to do the things that I want.
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:So movement is a part of me.
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:Movement is part of my identity, and
because of that, anytime my short
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:term wants or desires go against my
long term goals of being a mover or
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:being someone who values movement,
that alarm system will sound.
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:And I'll feel a greater pull to
get my butt up knowing that I
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:view movement and exercise as
sacred and part of my identity.
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:My long term goals with movement
involve being able to do all of
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:the things I love, walk, run, ski,
swim with the people that I love.
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:Both those here with me now, but then
also those in the future, like grandkids.
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:I wanna be able to get up
and down off the floor.
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:I wanna be able to run and
play and chase after them.
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:So I view movement in
that long term framework.
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:And because of that, my alarm
system will sound super loudly
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:to let me know right now.
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:Hey, Kelsey, your short-term
desires and pleasures are not lining
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:up with those long-term goals.
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:So my command center will be queued to
override my desire for those short-term
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:pleasures to be able to put into action
things that will help me reach my
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:long-term goal of being a mover for life.
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:So contrasting that a little bit,
one of my other goals is to be fluent
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:in Spanish again, but if I view my
life without being fluent in Spanish,
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:I don't have that emotional pull
to Spanish as I do for movement.
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:So for me, movement has more of an
emotional connection compared to Spanish.
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:The reason I wanna be fluent in
Spanish is so I can conversate in
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:Spanish with friends of mine who speak
Spanish with patients of mine who speak
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:Spanish, going into Spain or Mexico,
or a country that speaks Spanish
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:to be able to conversate fluently.
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:Like those are my reasons for wanting
to be fluent in Spanish, But it
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:doesn't have this emotional pull.
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:My reason for being fluent in Spanish
does not have as large of an emotional
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:pull as being a mover does, or
wanting to value movement or seeing
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:movement as part of my identity.
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:However.
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:If you have goals of becoming fluent
in Spanish or whatever language because
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:someone you love only speaks Spanish, or
someone really close to you, or someone
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:you care about only speaks Spanish, or
you wanna go visit a country that you
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:feel like your family is connected to
in some way, if you have that larger
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:emotional pull, your alarm system
will sound a little bit more whenever
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:you do something for those short-term
pleasures that go against the long-term
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:goal of being fluent in Spanish.
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:So it's not necessarily the goal.
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:The goal could be the
same for me and for you.
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:I wanna be fluent in Spanish.
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:You wanna be fluent in Spanish, but
if you have a greater emotional pull,
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:your anterior cingulate cortex, that
alarm system will have a louder and
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:larger response because of that emotion
that you feel to that long term goal.
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:another example, you might be super
consistent with pursuing school or
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:academic related goals in order to
get the degree that you want in order
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:to either accomplish a certain goal.
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:Of getting a job that you'd like or
getting the financial compensation, the
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:salary that you like, or it could be
to have just pride in yourself or to be
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:the first one in your family to graduate
from college you might have this super
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:emotional pull towards your academics or
towards pursuing that degree That creates
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:this larger alarm system in your head.
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:Whenever something you want to do
goes against those long-term goals,
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:which only helps to motivate you to
be that much more consistent when
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:you are trying to go after that goal.
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:So think about whatever
you're consistent in.
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:Is there a deeper emotional pull that
you feel if you picture your life
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:without accomplishing that certain task?
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:If it is something like, I'm
so good at cleaning the house
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:or making my bed something that
seems pretty mundane and ordinary.
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:But if you feel better about yourself,
you're someone who values a clean
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:house, values a clean home, or.
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:You grew up in a home that possibly wasn't
that clean, and because of that you wanna
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:reverse that, where you have this draw to
where you picture your home growing up as
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:super cluttered and you have a deterrent
towards that home and wanna create a clean
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:home, whatever it is, think about what
you're consistent in and see if one of
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:the reasons that you're consistent in is
because if you picture your life without
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:it, you feel this greater emotional
pull towards that long-term goal.
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:Now think of something that you're
a little bit less consistent in and
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:why you might be less consistent.
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:Do you have that emotional pull or is
it something like, for me, like Spanish,
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:I'm less consistent in learning it
because I don't have as strong of that
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:emotional pull towards that long-term
goal of being fluent in Spanish as
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:I do for being a lifelong mover.
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:So diving into the neuroscience a little
bit more, again, last week we chatted all
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:about the different parts of your brain
that help with motivation, that help
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:with discipline, that help to override
some of our want tos and pleasures
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:for things that we have to, to help us
stay more disciplined, even when our
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:menstrual cycle in our hormones are.
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:Maybe pulling us in
the opposite direction.
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:So again, check out that episode.
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:It's the one right before this
episode, 79, if you are interested
233
:in diving deeper into that.
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:But
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:a lot of consistency and goal
setting relates to motivation and
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:so let's dive into the fun female
brain sciencey part of it all.
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:We mentioned the anterior cingulate
cortex, which is the part of our
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:brain that's that alarm system.
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:It weighs our current want, toss
our pleasures with the long-term
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:goals that we have for ourselves.
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:And if there's a disconnect between those.
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:An alarm will sound to help us
override what we wanna do for what
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:we have to do or should be doing.
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:But what we didn't mention last week
was that alarm signal and that alarm
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:sound can have varying ranges of
intensity based on the emotional and
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:motivational significance of that goal.
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:So how much does this matter to the
person's core motivation and values, their
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:self-identity, their long-term goals?
249
:It starts to integrate all of those things
to decide the intensity of that alarm.
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:Then it signals our top down discipline
pathways that helps to override what
251
:we want to do and replace it with
actions that we should be doing to
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:help us reach those long-term goals.
253
:The alarm system in the anterior
cingulate cortex is extra activated
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:when your goals involve protecting,
maintaining, or improving certain
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:relationships, sense of self or identity.
256
:I am a mover.
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:That is who I am.
258
:So that is a sense of myself,
significant loss or failure.
259
:So disappointing or failing
people you care about or a loss
260
:of love, status or security.
261
:So picturing your life without the goal
that you wanna accomplish is a way to help
262
:improve consistency towards that goal.
263
:It basically helps us evaluate
high stakes versus low stakes
264
:conflicts and our emotional and
motivational attachment towards them.
265
:So for different actions and goals,
people might have different alarm.
266
:Sounds like my Spanish example.
267
:For me, Spanish, I don't have a huge
emotional or motivational connection
268
:to, but for you, you might, the same
thing can be said with laundry, like
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:Should I do laundry now or later?
270
:Typically, low stakes and low emotion.
271
:So the alarm system might not sound as
loud, but If you have a specific time
272
:that you have to get it done with,
maybe that alarm system will sound a
273
:little bit, but typically, low stakes.
274
:Low emotion.
275
:Do I need to eat healthy Now, high stakes,
high emotion if your health depends on it.
276
:If you are in the hospital or a highly
medical situation, typically eating
277
:healthy is high stakes, high emotion
because it'll help your body Recover
278
:better or fight the disease that it's
trying to fight off lower stakes.
279
:Lower emotion is, do I
need to eat healthy now?
280
:I just wanna lose weight.
281
:That's a little bit lower stakes, lower
emotion, because it's not as imminent.
282
:It's not right.
283
:Now time restrictive, like your
health, especially if you're in the
284
:hospital, feels pretty time restrictive.
285
:You're like I have to do this
now in order to help my body.
286
:But for weight loss, usually
it's a little longer term.
287
:Is one meal gonna affect it that much?
288
:So we might look at that as low stakes.
289
:Low emotion, but same thing.
290
:Do I feel healthy now?
291
:It can be high stakes,
high emotion or low stakes.
292
:Low emotion.
293
:Another example, I need to exercise
now or I have a goal of exercising.
294
:It can be low stakes, low emotion.
295
:It can be high stakes, high emotion.
296
:You can feel emotionally
connected to movement as who you
297
:are as part of your identity.
298
:It can help you feel more confidence.
299
:So that might be higher stakes if
you're struggling with low confidence.
300
:But if your goal is more weight loss or.
301
:, More aesthetic goals.
302
:Sometimes those goals aren't as
deeply ingrained in us, so it can
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:be lower stakes and lower emotion.
304
:These are just examples
305
:to show that the same goal can have
different motivational and emotional
306
:significance to different people.
307
:So it's not necessarily the goal, but
how connected you feel to that goal.
308
:That helps decide the
intensity of that alarm system.
309
:Now think back again to what you're
consistent at and reflect on why
310
:is it solidified in your brain?
311
:Because accomplishing that goal
or task has high significance
312
:and motivation to you.
313
:Can you picture your life not
accomplishing that goal or task
314
:and do you have a high emotional
response towards that imagery?
315
:Now think of something that you
wanna become more consistent with,
316
:or goal that you have for yourself.
317
:How can you utilize how your brain
works to maximize that alarm system?
318
:That will sound when you
veer from the course?
319
:Can you tie it to your identity?
320
:I am someone who, versus I am someone
who is trying to, not the same.
321
:You wanna tie it back to your identity.
322
:Is there an emotion you'd
like to tie to that goal?
323
:To create that greater pull, that
greater intensity of that alarm system,
324
:and finally looking at how it might
disappoint future you or someone
325
:you love, if you fail to accomplish
that goal or fail to do that task.
326
:So using neuroscience and our brains in
order to realize why we are consistent
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:with certain things and why we aren't
consistent with certain things can help us
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:understand who we are as people, but also.
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:help us to navigate different goals
that we have trouble sticking to.
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:So this was another super fun episode
for me that dove a little bit more in
331
:depth to that motivation and discipline,
primarily that discipline pathway.
332
:But I hope you guys learned a lot.
333
:I hope you are now a little bit more
familiar with how the brain works.
334
:I think of the brain as the.
335
:Ocean where I feel like we're only
just now starting to understand the
336
:brain, just like we're only just now
starting to understand the ocean.
337
:But I know that we're
probably, what do they say?
338
:We only understand like 10% of the ocean.
339
:I feel like that's the same
thing with the human brain,
340
:and this is just a part of it.
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:So thank you guys for nerding out with
me about this stuff because I think
342
:it allows us to give ourselves grace,
especially when we fail, when we're
343
:accomplishing a goal, realizing, okay,
hang on, I don't have the emotional
344
:pull or the motivational significance
towards this goal that I would like.
345
:Maybe I need to reevaluate that.
346
:Or if you're going after a goal that
you don't really care about and aren't
347
:as consistent with, that's okay too.
348
:Maybe it.
349
:Time to switch to a new goal or switch to
a new task, that you are able to fight for
350
:that consistency a little bit more because
you do have that emotional or motivational
351
:pull towards that task or goal.
352
:I guess this episode makes sense in this
like winter arc season where we're ending
353
:out the end of 2025 and prepping for
:
354
:I'm not prepping for 2026 yet, but ending
:
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:sense that these episodes fall within this
timeframe, but I hope you guys enjoyed it
356
:and I will see you guys again on the
next episode of Wellness Fix the pod.
