80:: The female brain on consistency & goal-setting (why we are more consistent & motivated towards some goals than others!)

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Last week we chatted about how our

hormones and menstrual cycle affect

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our motivation and discipline.

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So let's take it a step further and

chat about goal setting as women today.

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Welcome back to Wellness Big Sis, the pod.

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I'm your host, Dr.

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Kelsy Vick, a board

certified orthopedic Dr.

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Physical therapy, and a pelvic

floor physical therapist.

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, And last week's episode is probably

one of my favorite topics to research,

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we chatted all about motivation and

discipline and why you might feel more

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motivated or more disciplined during

certain times of your cycle and what

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to know about how your brain works.

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To give yourself a little bit of grace,

but then also to maximize when you do

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feel more motivated or more disciplined.

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It's one of my favorite

topics to research and.

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I hope you guys enjoyed

that chat as much as I did.

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If you missed it, it is the episode right

before this, but we'll build upon that

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today And talk specifically goal setting

and really just staying consistent.

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It's not even necessarily like

how to be better goal setters,

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but how to stay consistent when

trying to achieve a certain goal.

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So as I was reflecting over this week's

episode, I kept coming back to what have

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I been consistent with over the course of.

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Decades or my life really.

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And the one thing that is super

easy for me to be consistent with

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is exercise and movement in general.

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And this is not to brag at all, it's just

something that I feel like I've been able

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to stay way more consistent with because

I have an emotional connection to the

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long-term goal that I have when it comes

to movement, diet, sleep, hydration, all

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of those things are things I struggle with

mindfulness meditation, like I am not.

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Perfect by any means, but for

some reason movement is easy

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for me to stay consistent with.

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And I kept wondering, why is that?

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Why am I so consistent with movement

yet have such a hard time making

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sure to get my mindfulness practices

and my breath work practices?

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Really, I Anything else

that's not movement.

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I'm so consistent with movement,

but why can I be so consistent with

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movement and not with everything else?

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And as I was thinking about it, it

got me coming back to my deeper why

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with movement and how emotionally

connected I am with that deeper why

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My deeper why gets a little bit

spiritual, but to me, movement

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is so much more than exercise.

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And being consistent with movement

is so much more than exercise.

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Because movement's how we interact

with the world, it's how we

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do the things that we enjoy.

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It's how we show people we love them.

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It's how we build relationships.

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It's how we interact with others.

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It's just how we communicate

with the world around us.

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And so for me, it gets so much

deeper than just weight loss or.

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Honestly even feeling good in my body,

although that's part of it, it gets a

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lot deeper than that, and that movement

to me is one of the ways that I interact

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with the world, that I show people

that I love them, and I've seen what

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it looks like when that is taken away.

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So we're gonna dive into this

example of movement, using my

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example, but I also want you guys

to think about what is something

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that you're super consistent with?

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Think about it really quickly.

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Like it can be anything.

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It can be something, not health and

wellness related, but what is one

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thing you're super consistent with?

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We're gonna dive into the neuroscience

behind goal setting and consistency,

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But I want you to see if how I explain

goal setting and neuroscience and

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all of these things also apply to

you in whatever task or behavior that

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you're able to be consistent with.

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So it can be something as simple

as, you're really good at fueling,

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you're really good at journaling.

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You're really consistent with

calling your mom every day.

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You're really consistent

in learning something.

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Whatever it is, think about what you are

consistent at and see if some of these

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facts about how our brains work to build

consistency and build goal setting, apply

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to whatever you are consistent with.

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So for me, movement is that thing that is

super easy for me to be consistent with.

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And one of the reasons is that I have

seen what it's like to live without

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movement from a very young age.

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I witnessed my grandmother having

a stroke when I was five, and

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I saw from such a early age

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how a lack of movement affects someone.

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So for me, I was seeing my very healthy,

very capable grandma go from fully

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functioning horse riding tennis plane to

all of a sudden being wheelchair bound.

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It was a very severe stroke.

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She's paralyzed completely

on her right side.

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So I saw firsthand what it looked

like for someone super close

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to me, someone that I loved for

movement to be taken away from them.

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And not that when I was five years old,

I was thinking that, oh my gosh, that is.

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Movement is.

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Spiritual movement is something that

I'm going to build this lifelong

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consistency with because I see what

it's like when it's taken away.

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It was not that at all, but I think

that experience is ingrained a little

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bit deeper than what I think it is.

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It's one of the reasons I went to

PT school actually, seeing how much.

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Movement specialists and movement

experts were able to help her and help

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her regain some of her movement back.

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But realizing what it looks like to

have movement taken away is really

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what I think got ingrained in my

head to be like, you know what?

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Even if it's hard to exercise

today, remember what it looks

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like to not have movement.

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Remember what it looks like to

not have the blessing of movement.

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And that's really what has

solidified that consistency for me.

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So that experience showed

me that movement was a gift.

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It's a blessing going to the bathroom

on your own, getting in and outta

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the car, going to get yourself

food, going to get yourself water.

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Anything that you want requires movement

to go get, so the older that I got,

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the more I started realizing what a

blessing and what a gift movement is.

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So not only is it how you exercise or

how you make your body healthy or feel

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more confident, but it's also how you

interact with the world, how you live,

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how you enjoy the people in your life,

how you love the people in your life, how

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you love the things that you do in life.

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Movement is a huge part of that.

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Now, as a pt, I've had even more

examples of what it looks like

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to have that movement taken away.

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And I've seen how having that taken away

affects their ability to show up for

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themselves and show up for others, how

it keeps them from doing the things that

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they love with the people they love.

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Now, why am I telling you all of this

a super personal story and one of

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the things that could probably bring

me to tears because it's been such

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a monumental change in my life that

really affected me from a young age.

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Why am I telling you all of this?

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It's not just because I want you

guys to be like, wow, Kelsey came

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out the other side and really has

built this consistency with movement.

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That's not what it is at all.

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It's more to prove one of the concepts

of goal setting that really helps

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to solidify a goal and consistency

towards that goal within our brains.

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So picturing our lives without

that goal or failure of that

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goal really helps us to promote

consistency in pursuit of that goal.

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The stronger that pull is to live

with that goal, the more consistent

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you'll be with accomplishing that goal.

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So taking it back to last week when we.

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Learned that we have an alarm system

within our brains that when it senses

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a disconnect between our long-term

goals and what we currently wanna do.

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So it may be short-term pleasure.

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So let's say exercise long-term goals.

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You wanna exercise, you wanna be

someone who exercises, you wanna be

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someone who's able to move in the best

way they can for the longest they can.

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But right now you really wanna

just sit on the couch and veg

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and watch your favorite show.

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That alarm system will sound, letting

your brain know that, hey, currently

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she wants to do something that is not

in alignment with her long-term goals.

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Can you use discipline to override?

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Can you use that CEO, that command

center, the prefrontal cortex, to

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override what she really wants to

do to remind her that she does have

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these longer term goals, that what she

wants to do short term is not going to

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help her reach those long-term goals.

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So for me, with movement, there is a

greater pull, there's a greater disconnect

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because for me, movement is not just

short term goals of weight loss, but

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it's this longer term goal, this longer

term value, this identity of who I am.

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I am a mover.

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I am someone who values movement

for my whole lifespan, for not only

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myself, but also my family and those

that I love to be able to interact

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with them in the way that I want to

be able to do the things that I want.

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So movement is a part of me.

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Movement is part of my identity, and

because of that, anytime my short

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term wants or desires go against my

long term goals of being a mover or

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being someone who values movement,

that alarm system will sound.

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And I'll feel a greater pull to

get my butt up knowing that I

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view movement and exercise as

sacred and part of my identity.

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My long term goals with movement

involve being able to do all of

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the things I love, walk, run, ski,

swim with the people that I love.

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Both those here with me now, but then

also those in the future, like grandkids.

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I wanna be able to get up

and down off the floor.

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I wanna be able to run and

play and chase after them.

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So I view movement in

that long term framework.

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And because of that, my alarm

system will sound super loudly

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to let me know right now.

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Hey, Kelsey, your short-term

desires and pleasures are not lining

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up with those long-term goals.

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So my command center will be queued to

override my desire for those short-term

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pleasures to be able to put into action

things that will help me reach my

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long-term goal of being a mover for life.

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So contrasting that a little bit,

one of my other goals is to be fluent

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in Spanish again, but if I view my

life without being fluent in Spanish,

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I don't have that emotional pull

to Spanish as I do for movement.

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So for me, movement has more of an

emotional connection compared to Spanish.

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The reason I wanna be fluent in

Spanish is so I can conversate in

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Spanish with friends of mine who speak

Spanish with patients of mine who speak

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Spanish, going into Spain or Mexico,

or a country that speaks Spanish

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to be able to conversate fluently.

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Like those are my reasons for wanting

to be fluent in Spanish, But it

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doesn't have this emotional pull.

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My reason for being fluent in Spanish

does not have as large of an emotional

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pull as being a mover does, or

wanting to value movement or seeing

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movement as part of my identity.

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However.

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If you have goals of becoming fluent

in Spanish or whatever language because

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someone you love only speaks Spanish, or

someone really close to you, or someone

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you care about only speaks Spanish, or

you wanna go visit a country that you

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feel like your family is connected to

in some way, if you have that larger

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emotional pull, your alarm system

will sound a little bit more whenever

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you do something for those short-term

pleasures that go against the long-term

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goal of being fluent in Spanish.

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So it's not necessarily the goal.

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The goal could be the

same for me and for you.

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I wanna be fluent in Spanish.

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You wanna be fluent in Spanish, but

if you have a greater emotional pull,

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your anterior cingulate cortex, that

alarm system will have a louder and

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larger response because of that emotion

that you feel to that long term goal.

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another example, you might be super

consistent with pursuing school or

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academic related goals in order to

get the degree that you want in order

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to either accomplish a certain goal.

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Of getting a job that you'd like or

getting the financial compensation, the

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salary that you like, or it could be

to have just pride in yourself or to be

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the first one in your family to graduate

from college you might have this super

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emotional pull towards your academics or

towards pursuing that degree That creates

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this larger alarm system in your head.

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Whenever something you want to do

goes against those long-term goals,

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which only helps to motivate you to

be that much more consistent when

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you are trying to go after that goal.

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So think about whatever

you're consistent in.

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Is there a deeper emotional pull that

you feel if you picture your life

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without accomplishing that certain task?

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If it is something like, I'm

so good at cleaning the house

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or making my bed something that

seems pretty mundane and ordinary.

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But if you feel better about yourself,

you're someone who values a clean

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house, values a clean home, or.

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You grew up in a home that possibly wasn't

that clean, and because of that you wanna

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reverse that, where you have this draw to

where you picture your home growing up as

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super cluttered and you have a deterrent

towards that home and wanna create a clean

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home, whatever it is, think about what

you're consistent in and see if one of

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the reasons that you're consistent in is

because if you picture your life without

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it, you feel this greater emotional

pull towards that long-term goal.

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Now think of something that you're

a little bit less consistent in and

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why you might be less consistent.

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Do you have that emotional pull or is

it something like, for me, like Spanish,

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I'm less consistent in learning it

because I don't have as strong of that

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emotional pull towards that long-term

goal of being fluent in Spanish as

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I do for being a lifelong mover.

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So diving into the neuroscience a little

bit more, again, last week we chatted all

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about the different parts of your brain

that help with motivation, that help

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with discipline, that help to override

some of our want tos and pleasures

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for things that we have to, to help us

stay more disciplined, even when our

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menstrual cycle in our hormones are.

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Maybe pulling us in

the opposite direction.

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So again, check out that episode.

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It's the one right before this

episode, 79, if you are interested

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in diving deeper into that.

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But

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a lot of consistency and goal

setting relates to motivation and

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so let's dive into the fun female

brain sciencey part of it all.

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We mentioned the anterior cingulate

cortex, which is the part of our

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brain that's that alarm system.

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It weighs our current want, toss

our pleasures with the long-term

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goals that we have for ourselves.

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And if there's a disconnect between those.

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An alarm will sound to help us

override what we wanna do for what

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we have to do or should be doing.

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But what we didn't mention last week

was that alarm signal and that alarm

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sound can have varying ranges of

intensity based on the emotional and

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motivational significance of that goal.

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So how much does this matter to the

person's core motivation and values, their

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self-identity, their long-term goals?

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It starts to integrate all of those things

to decide the intensity of that alarm.

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Then it signals our top down discipline

pathways that helps to override what

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we want to do and replace it with

actions that we should be doing to

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help us reach those long-term goals.

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The alarm system in the anterior

cingulate cortex is extra activated

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when your goals involve protecting,

maintaining, or improving certain

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relationships, sense of self or identity.

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I am a mover.

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That is who I am.

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So that is a sense of myself,

significant loss or failure.

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So disappointing or failing

people you care about or a loss

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of love, status or security.

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So picturing your life without the goal

that you wanna accomplish is a way to help

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improve consistency towards that goal.

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It basically helps us evaluate

high stakes versus low stakes

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conflicts and our emotional and

motivational attachment towards them.

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So for different actions and goals,

people might have different alarm.

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Sounds like my Spanish example.

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For me, Spanish, I don't have a huge

emotional or motivational connection

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to, but for you, you might, the same

thing can be said with laundry, like

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Should I do laundry now or later?

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Typically, low stakes and low emotion.

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So the alarm system might not sound as

loud, but If you have a specific time

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that you have to get it done with,

maybe that alarm system will sound a

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little bit, but typically, low stakes.

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Low emotion.

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Do I need to eat healthy Now, high stakes,

high emotion if your health depends on it.

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If you are in the hospital or a highly

medical situation, typically eating

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healthy is high stakes, high emotion

because it'll help your body Recover

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better or fight the disease that it's

trying to fight off lower stakes.

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Lower emotion is, do I

need to eat healthy now?

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I just wanna lose weight.

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That's a little bit lower stakes, lower

emotion, because it's not as imminent.

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It's not right.

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Now time restrictive, like your

health, especially if you're in the

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hospital, feels pretty time restrictive.

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You're like I have to do this

now in order to help my body.

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But for weight loss, usually

it's a little longer term.

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Is one meal gonna affect it that much?

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So we might look at that as low stakes.

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Low emotion, but same thing.

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Do I feel healthy now?

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It can be high stakes,

high emotion or low stakes.

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Low emotion.

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Another example, I need to exercise

now or I have a goal of exercising.

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It can be low stakes, low emotion.

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It can be high stakes, high emotion.

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You can feel emotionally

connected to movement as who you

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are as part of your identity.

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It can help you feel more confidence.

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So that might be higher stakes if

you're struggling with low confidence.

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But if your goal is more weight loss or.

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, More aesthetic goals.

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Sometimes those goals aren't as

deeply ingrained in us, so it can

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be lower stakes and lower emotion.

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These are just examples

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to show that the same goal can have

different motivational and emotional

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significance to different people.

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So it's not necessarily the goal, but

how connected you feel to that goal.

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That helps decide the

intensity of that alarm system.

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Now think back again to what you're

consistent at and reflect on why

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is it solidified in your brain?

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Because accomplishing that goal

or task has high significance

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and motivation to you.

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Can you picture your life not

accomplishing that goal or task

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and do you have a high emotional

response towards that imagery?

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Now think of something that you

wanna become more consistent with,

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or goal that you have for yourself.

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How can you utilize how your brain

works to maximize that alarm system?

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That will sound when you

veer from the course?

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Can you tie it to your identity?

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I am someone who, versus I am someone

who is trying to, not the same.

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You wanna tie it back to your identity.

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Is there an emotion you'd

like to tie to that goal?

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: 00:17:07

To create that greater pull, that

greater intensity of that alarm system,

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and finally looking at how it might

disappoint future you or someone

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you love, if you fail to accomplish

that goal or fail to do that task.

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So using neuroscience and our brains in

order to realize why we are consistent

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with certain things and why we aren't

consistent with certain things can help us

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understand who we are as people, but also.

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help us to navigate different goals

that we have trouble sticking to.

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So this was another super fun episode

for me that dove a little bit more in

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depth to that motivation and discipline,

primarily that discipline pathway.

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But I hope you guys learned a lot.

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: 00:17:44

I hope you are now a little bit more

familiar with how the brain works.

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: 00:17:48

I think of the brain as the.

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: 00:17:51

Ocean where I feel like we're only

just now starting to understand the

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: 00:17:56

brain, just like we're only just now

starting to understand the ocean.

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: 00:17:59

But I know that we're

probably, what do they say?

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We only understand like 10% of the ocean.

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: 00:18:04

I feel like that's the same

thing with the human brain,

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: 00:18:06

and this is just a part of it.

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: 00:18:07

So thank you guys for nerding out with

me about this stuff because I think

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it allows us to give ourselves grace,

especially when we fail, when we're

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accomplishing a goal, realizing, okay,

hang on, I don't have the emotional

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pull or the motivational significance

towards this goal that I would like.

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Maybe I need to reevaluate that.

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: 00:18:23

Or if you're going after a goal that

you don't really care about and aren't

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as consistent with, that's okay too.

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: 00:18:28

Maybe it.

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: 00:18:29

Time to switch to a new goal or switch to

a new task, that you are able to fight for

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: 00:18:35

that consistency a little bit more because

you do have that emotional or motivational

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: 00:18:40

pull towards that task or goal.

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: 00:18:42

I guess this episode makes sense in this

like winter arc season where we're ending

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: 00:18:46

out the end of 2025 and prepping for

: 2026

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: 00:18:51

I'm not prepping for 2026 yet, but ending

: 2025

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: 00:18:56

sense that these episodes fall within this

timeframe, but I hope you guys enjoyed it

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: 00:18:59

and I will see you guys again on the

next episode of Wellness Fix the pod.